Cosmic Love
by j0wey
Summary: Inspired by Florence The Machines: Cosmic Love, After a year of trying to cope with the death of Sherlock, John finds it very difficult to even move on, going into the same routine every day. One night at Angelo's, John receives a text message from someone he didn't expect to get a message from. JohnLock MxM, Reviews are appreciated. Enjoy! Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Cosmic Love

[JohnLock]

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock or the characters in the series. BBC owns all of it.

The lyrics are owned by Florence + The Machines

_A falling star fell from your heart_

_And landed in my eyes_

_I screamed aloud, as it tore through them_

_And now it's left me blind_

It had been almost a year since the fall from St Bartholomew's Hospital. John had spent most of the year trying to cope with the fact that his best friend, Sherlock Holmes, was never coming back to their flat at 221B Baker Street. For many months, the doctor had paid many visits to his therapist who had found this to be a shock; since John had not bothered to come to any more appointments since the day he first met the consulting detective. She certainly found that since the time she last saw her patient, John had gone from psychosomatic to depressed in the matter of a year's time since he'd known Sherlock. Surely, this high-functioning sociopath had made John feel better and miraculously cured his psychosomatic limp, causing John to stop seeing the therapist. But as soon as Sherlock was out of the picture, the army doctor had gone into a downward spiral. She tried referring him to other forms of coping like talking to friends, blogging like he did before but John felt he couldn't bare to do any of those things because it reminded him of his best friend, Sherlock Holmes.

"John, if there's something that you would have wanted to say to him, you can say it now." The blond sat in his chair across from his therapist and quietly shook his head. "No, I can't." He croaked. "I just can't." Taking a deep breath, he got up from his chair and bid the therapist good day before grabbing his coat and leaving the office.

Heading back to the flat on 221B Baker Street, John's thoughts were somewhere else as he wondered home. Anything that the doctor did, did not help him cope what so ever. Talking to Greg, Mrs. Hudson, even Mycroft did nothing for him. Anything he did brought back the association of his deceased friend. This made it very difficult for people to help John through this rough year.

In some way, John felt a bit of denial. He didn't want to believe that Sherlock was really gone. The doctor had theorized several scenarios that could have taken place; he even went about texting the dead friends phone. He always did this, but he didn't know why. Perhaps he thought if he texted Sherlock, by some miracle, the detective would text him back a reply. Of course, this never happened, but it was worth a shot.

Standing in front of 221B, John pulled out his phone and started creating a text.

_**Went to my therapist today… It wasn't very helpful though.**_ _**–JW**_

**Send**

For a year, John had sent a text message to his friend without a single reply to him. "Always have to have the last word, eh?" John murmured before shoving his phone back into his pocket and entering into the flat and heading into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea and sitting down on the couch to watch telly. This had pretty much become his daily routine for the past year. Mrs. Hudson, the landlady, was worried for the army doctor and did everything she could to help him through such a hard time, but as an old woman, she could only do so much for John.

After a few hours passed in the flat, John got up from the couch and made his way back out the door, grabbing his coat, keys and phone. This was around the time that he would be heading to Angelo's for a few drinks to forget his sorrows in a few pints of beer. He knew this was not a very healthy habit, but at least he wasn't drinking 24-7 and causing Mrs. Hudson to fret.

Entering into the pub, John headed into a booth by himself looking over the menu before a waiter came over to ask for his order. John ordered his usual first pint of the evening before the waiter nodded and left him alone for the time being to get his first drink. Taking a deep breath, he looked out the window in his booth and dazed off remembering the first night Sherlock and himself had their first steak out at Angelo's for _The Study in Pink_. It was the first time he realized he did not need his cane anymore because he found something to keep his mind off of it… It was a new adventure for him with Sherlock. "Sherlock…" He murmured to himself softly watching the raindrops coming down and hitting the window in his booth. Looking back, the waiter had brought over his first drink as well as some peanuts to compliment the drink. Grabbing the beer, the doctor took his first gulp before looking back out the window at the rain.

Before John knew it, he was on his third beer of the evening. Peanuts were nearly gone with shells scattered on the table from the doctor carelessly tossing the shells away. His phone sat on the table in case he got a phone call or text message from someone. He didn't know who would bother texting him at this time, but it was always a habit he had with his phone. He took another gulp of his beer before his phone suddenly vibrated on the table. John set his pint down and looked down to see his phone lighting up. Picking it up, He flipped it open and nearly spit out his beer he had not finished swallowing.

"_**How's the beer, John?"-SH**_

_The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out_

_You left me in the dark_

_No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart_


	2. Chapter 2

_And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat_

_I tried to find the sound_

_But then it stopped and I was in the darkness_

_So darkness I became_

John stared down at the phone for a very long time trying to figure out a logical explanation behind the text from the person who was supposedly pronounced dead. Perhaps this was someone playing some sort of cheap trick on the poor doctor. But how could the owner of the message possibly know that John was having a pint at Angelo's? Unless the number was haunted by the ghost of Sherlock Holmes, but the army doctor didn't believe in such superstitions. Then there had to be one logical explanation that John would not have expected. The consulting detective must be alive.

John was a little freaked out by this thought, looking around the restaurant & bar to see if there was someone that would be texting him. He saw now signs of anyone of the sort. Thinking maybe it was the beer getting to him tonight, he quickly placed his money down for the beers and slipped out of Angelo's without a goodnight to the hostess. Once he was outside, the blond began quickly pacing down the sidewalk to get home. _"Just need some air, that's all, John. Beer and Peanuts, that's probably it, never doing that combination again."_ The doctor thought to himself taking deep breaths to try calming himself down. Suddenly his phone went off again with another message.

**_John, you should calm down. -SH_**

"JESUS!" John shouted out, startling a young couple that was walking passed him. A little embarrassed from his outburst, he apologized to the couple and decided to head into the park to sort this whole thing out. Looking down at the message again, he thought about responding. Getting closer to the park, John began to type.

**_Sherlock? Is that really you? –JW_**

The blond took in a deep, shaky breath before sitting down on a bench near by. "This can't be," he croaked, burying his face into his hands. His body trembled, unable to sort out the reasoning behind this message. "You can't be alive, Sherlock." He sniffed, already feeling his eyes burnings as tears ran down his face. Another message came up.

**_This is my phone after all, John. Please don't cry. –SH _**

Reading the message, he couldn't help but want to cry more. After a year, a long and dark year, suddenly this was happening. He was about to reply when another message came up.

**_Look up. –SH_**

John stopped himself from answering to the message and slowly looked up to see a tall, dark haired man in a familiar long dark coat standing in front of the doctor. Even in the darkness, there was a little shed of light from the streetlights that easily made out the strong bone structure and brilliant grey blue eyes. The shorter blonds heart nearly stopped beating at that moment as if he was seeing a ghost. The man finally spoke in his deep baritone voice that John remembered all too well. "Hello, John."

Quickly wiping away the tears from his face, he was in utter shock to see his best friend standing in front of him, in the flesh. "Sh-Sherlock…" He croaked, slowly getting up from the park bench. Looking up at the detective, more tears starting running down his face without him even knowing this. "Now, now, John. Don't cry." Sherlock said softly, reaching over and wiping the tears from his partners face. The touch of his friend's hand against his face was more than enough proof for John now. Placing his own hand on top of Sherlock's, the army doctor's emotions were now going haywire. "I-it's really you, Sherlock. You're alive." Without any further thought, John grabbed ahold of the detective and buried his face into Sherlock's chest.

Sherlock stared down at the shorter blond in surprise of how happy he was to see the detective. Soon, the taller man found himself wrapping his arms around John and burying his own face into the blond hair. "I'm sorry I made you so upset, John." He whispered, finding himself developing such guilt. He didn't know how else to express how sorry he was at that moment. John soon looked up at Sherlock with his cheeks red from crying into the detective's chest. "You were gone for a year, Sherlock. I thought you were dead for an entire year." Suddenly, John looked a little more pissed now. "John, let me explain, I-"

"Do you have any idea what you put me through, Sherlock Holmes!?" The tall detective stiffened his body as his friend suddenly scolded him. "I had to go back to therapy because I couldn't cope with the fact that you were dead!"

"John, I had to do it. If I didn't you-"

"Why did you have to leave me, Sherlock!? Wh-"

"I was trying to save you, John!" John fell silent at the sudden outburst and quietly allowed Sherlock to finish. The dark haired man took a deep breath and finished, "If I didn't jump, Moriarty would have let his assassins kill Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade and… you." John lowered his head, feeling a little embarrassed by his outburst towards Sherlock now.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I had no idea…" The shorter blond murmured. His head was suddenly lifted up, meeting the lips of his partner. Being pulled in close by Sherlock, he suddenly felt obliged to kiss the taller man back.

_The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out_

_You left me in the dark_

_No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart_


	3. Chapter 3

_I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map_

_And knew that somehow I could find my way back_

_Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too_

_So I stayed in the darkness with you_

"Sh-Sherlock…" John managed to gasp out, breaking the suddenly passionate kiss. Panting and trembling from the excitement, the doctor looked up at the detective with dilated pupils and red stained cheeks, still clutching onto Sherlock's dark coat. The taller man looked down at the blond with just about the same expression as well as panting from the lack of air from the heated kiss. Suddenly, John revealed a sweet smile as he spoke once more. "People will talk if they see us like this…" He couldn't help but chuckle a little at the phrase he used to tell Sherlock when ever they were out solving cases together, more so the night before Sherlock faked his death.

Sherlock stared down at John, smiling back at his shorter partner before grabbing the other by the hand and pulling him along to go back home, _their home._ The blond was rather surprised by the sudden movement as he was dragged along like a child's teddy bear. "Sherlock! Wh-where are we going?!" John gasped, frantically looking around to see if anyone was making eyes at them. Luckily, it was so late at night that there was barely anyone out on the streets of London.

The detective didn't speak a single word while he pulled John along as they headed to 221B Baker Street. Once they finally reached the door, Sherlock looked up at the windows to see that there were no lights on. He suspected that Mrs. Hudson was probably in bed by now. Looking back at John, he squeezed the blonds hand before opening the door with his key and entered the house and heading up to _their flat._

Once they were in the flat and the door was closed, Sherlock turned to John and slowly approached the army doctor and making him press up against the wall next to the door. "Now no one can see us, John." The dark haired man whispered, leaning into the shorter mans neck and began pressing chaste kisses against the others neck. "And no one can talk." He added, pressing his body up against his partner. John let out a soft mewl, looking up at Sherlock with a desperate longing for the detective as he clutched onto the other's coat once more. "John…" Sherlock panted, leaning into to kiss his doctor on the lips once more as he began to pull down the blonde's coat.

John took in a deep breath as he felt Sherlock's lips connect with his once more, suddenly feeling eager to assist the detective with his own coat. "Sherlock, y-you felt with way? How long?" he groaned, pushing the long dark coat down so it would drop to the floor before beginning to work on the scarf and unbuttoning his shirt. Sherlock on the other hand was eagerly working on the same thing at the moment and starting to work on the army doctor's belt.

"Yes, for so long, John." The taller man growled before pressing his hips up against the shorter mans hips to create a reaction. This was successful when John let out a needy mewl. "When you shot that cabby on our first case together, I realized that I couldn't live without you. You saved me, John." The detective groaned, quickly undoing the doctor's belt and unzipping his trousers. "How about you?"

John looked up at Sherlock with surprised as he began undoing the taller mans trousers as well before speaking. "U-um… After The Woman." The doctor said sheepishly, afraid of seeming a little jealous at the time of Irene Adler's appearance in their life. The dominatrix was so fond of Sherlock and nearly toppled the detective's entire world. Looking back up at the dark haired man, John's cheeks were nearly red from embarrassment. Sherlock on the other hand, merely smiled down at the doctor before leaning in for another passionate kiss. Then with a swift tug, the dirty blondes trousers were on the floor along with the detectives.

"Oh, red pants, John?" Sherlock chuckled, teasing the shorter man.

Before John knew what was going on, Sherlock was leading him into his bedroom and on the bed continuing where they left off from when they were in the living room. Laying the doctor down on the bed, the detective continued by kissing down John's body, wanting to hear him make some aroused noises and did he ever get his wish. The dirty blonde was making enough noise to the point where he was afraid that he might wake up Mrs. Hudson downstairs. To avoid this, John covered his mouth to muffle his moaning while Sherlock continued kissing down his body until he reached the bulge that greeted him under John's red pants. "Sh-Sherlock… Th-this is absolutely amazing…" the army doctor moaned, throwing his head back when the curious detective began fondling his arousal with his hand.

Sherlock grinned at the comment before leaning down and kissing the bulge while still fondling his partner with his hand. "You're so easily impressed, John." He teased, grabbing the waistband of the red pants and pulling them down to reveal the culprit of the bulging red pants. With a clever smirk, the detective leaned down to start teasing John's erection. All the while, the doctor continued letting out pleasured moans and gasps.

"Sh-Sherlock…" John groaned to the detective who was busy teasing him with his mouth. He had wanted this for so long, and now that Sherlock was back, John was probably the happiest man in the world.

Sherlock had soon stopped pleasuring the doctor to go grab a bottle of lube from the nightstand drawer. With much success, the detective returned to the bed, spreading the blonde's legs apart so he could commence penetration. Slicking his fingers enough, the dark haired detective slipped his first finger inside of John with ease, thrusting it in and out without any issue, listening to his partner gasping and moaning more. Looking over the bottle sitting off to the side he grinned when he read the label that said, _Anal Lube_. "Oh, John. You're a little pervert." He mused, slipping another finger inside of John. "Since you didn't have anyone else while I was gone, you must have touched yourself, did you?" The detective started deducing the doctor, quiet accurately.

John let out a choked gasped when the second digit was inserted into his arse. "Sh-Sherlock… Th-this is n-no time for d-deduction!" He mewled, but he knew that what the detective said was true. "B-but you're right… I did…" He moaned, taking the time to finally get used to Sherlock's fingers. "Sherlock, I can't hold out any longer. I-I need you…" He moaned.

With that said, Sherlock pulled down his pants, lubed himself up and positioned himself between John's legs. Pressing himself up against his partner's entrance, the detective leaned forward to kiss his lovely doctor. "Ready?" He whispered before getting a nod of approval. From that, Sherlock slowly pushed himself inside of John, letting out a breathy gasp from having his length practically being pulled inside of his partner. It was tight, warm and wet when he was first inside, but soon he started slowly thrusting his hips to create friction. "John…" He moaned continuing to thrust. "You're so tight…" He observed, kissing the doctor passionately again.

John on the other hand felt the pressure of the detectives initial push inside, but after adjusting and feeling the thrusts of his partner, he felt good. "Sherlock, th-this is amazing!" He moaned, wrapping his arms around the dark haired mans neck to pull him close as he continued to thrust.

The thrusting soon became more rapid for Sherlock; he was getting so close to his peak. He could feel it was coming soon, and the detective knew that if he continued moving faster, it would happen quicker. Holding onto John for dear life, he growled low, nipping his lover's neck. "John… a-are you close?" He grunted. John couldn't seem to form any other words, but nodded with excitement. "Good, m-me too…" the detective growled again, continuing to thrust as fast as he could before suddenly slamming himself inside of John and releasing his load.

Feeling Sherlock slamming himself deep inside, John threw his head back and let out a cry of ecstasy before coming as well. Panting softly, he relaxed and allowed Sherlock to pull himself out and lay with the doctor. The blonde looked to the detective and took his hand before snuggling close to Sherlock. "I've missed you…" John murmured softly, closing his eyes and taking in the smell of tobacco and sex.

"I've missed you too, John." Sherlock murmured softly before closing his eyes and falling asleep with his partner.

_The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out_

_You left me in the dark_

_No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart_


End file.
